Lube was not designed to hurt your relationship!

For a product proudly displayed next to chocolate bars and kinder eggs by the tills of most convenience stores, lube still carries a lot of stigma - especially here in Asia. We've encountered a lot of misconceptions surrounding lube, and what it means to use it. 

We want to talk more openly about lube so that women (and everyone else) can feel free to explore their sexuality & try new things in the bedroom. Who knows, lube might become your new BFF! 

Since the world of lube can be overwhelming, we invited our dear friend Vera to help us out. She runs our favorite sex shop in Hong Kong, Sally Coco, and knows a lot about lube!

 

Vera at one of Sally Coco's stunning stores

 

Eva: When did you first start using lube? How did you learn about it?
Vera: I knew about lube but had never tried it before deciding to open our shop. This was right after my first orgasm, and I was determined to explore my body more. But I also wanted to share this with everyone and encourage others to be more open with their sexuality.
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At the time, we were doing some research to see what kind of lubes we should carry on our website and we bought a bunch to test out. Throughout that experience I did a lot of research and I learned that some kinds of lube are better for women. I tried all of them and saw which worked best for my body, but also what could be best for our future customers. We tested them on our skin, but also on our genitals to determine which ones we liked. So my first lube experience was actually market research (laugh)!
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Eva: What tips do you have for choosing the right kind of lube?
Vera: It can be a bit overwhelming – there’s many different types: water based, silicone based, and oil-based lube. Water base, in my experience, is the most popular because it’s most similar to the texture of natural female lubrication. My tip for picking a water-based lube is to choose one that’s slightly acidic. The Ph balance should be about 4.5. There’s a bunch of science behind it (laughs)!
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You also have to think about the osmolality of the lube: basically how the lube will be absorbed into your vaginal membrane. You don’t want it to dry up your vagina too much, but also don’t want something which deposits too much water in your cells. So that’s why it’s important to pick a lube that has good ingredients and Ph balance, and is designed for vaginas. 

Silicon based lubricant is more popular in the LGTBQ+ community. It’s widely used as an anal lubricant, because it’s more long lasting so it doesn’t need to be reapplied as often.

There’s also oil based lubricant which is actually really good for women after menopause. Oil acts as a very good moisturizer. So I’d also recommend it for women who have vaginal dryness. However, it cannot be used with a latex condom as it will break it down!

 

 

Eva: What would you say to people that think using lube is a sign of not being aroused?
Vera: That’s a very common misconception. What I would say to them is: lube is actually a neutral product! It was not designed to hurt the self esteem of either partner in a relationship! It was only designed to make sexual experiences better.
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I have seen women who experience vaginal dryness due to hormones, breastfeeding or menopause who squeeze lube inside their vaginas before sex, just to look aroused. All of this was not communicated with their partner, because the women are afraid their partner will feel that he is not good enough and can’t arouse her anymore. So it’d say talk to your partner about why you need lube: it’s not about not being aroused, but it’s because of hormones!
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And vaginal wetness does not always equal arousal. It often really depends on hormones. So, communication is really important. Explain your situation to your partner & it can help you have a better sexual experience.

Eva: From your experience, what attitude do HK locals have toward lube?

Vera: I think there’s two misconceptions: lube is for someone who is not aroused (like we discussed) and lube is used only when the man in the relationship is not good enough. And again: lube was never designed to hurt your relationship!

But I also see people who embrace lube. They’ll use different kinds and flavors, and they are very into it. So I think there’s two extremes, but no middle ground.

We’ve also started education centered around lube, but we still encounter a lot of stereotypes. Many people also think that lube is not a necessity, but for me if someone is having sex for the first time, for example, they should have lube on hand. This can make their first sexual experience less painful and more enjoyable.

What I’ve noticed is that as people we have a lot of insecurities, especially around our sexual life, and some people project those insecurities onto lube. And lube becomes a “bad thing”. It becomes this idea that makes you question if your partner loves you, if you’re good enough… I think we’re not there yet, but through education we can create a public mindset accepting towards lube.

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GIVEAWAY!

This is your chance to win hand-picked, organic gifts from Sally Coco & LUÜNA!

To enter:

-follow both accounts on Instagram (@luuna.naturals & @sallystoy)

- tag a friend in the comments

Prizes:

- 8 Super Absorbency Organic Cotton Tampons from LUÜNA

- 8 Regular Absorbency Organic Cotton Tampons from LUÜNA

- YES WB organic water based lubricant (7ml / 0.3oz sachet) from Sally Coco

 

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Sally Coco is the first female-friendly intimate lifestyle brand in Hong Kong.  We strongly believe that our sexual life plays a significant role in our well-being.  Through providing a well curated selection of fine intimate products and promotion of sex education, we aim to help improving the quality of intimate life.

 

Meet the Author!

 

Eva is the Content Manager at LUÜNA! She is a soon-to-be design graduate and an enthusiastic writer. Passionate about sustainability and gender equality, she loves getting to know people who are actively working toward these goals.